Puking in one of the stalls, a guy ran in and started puking in the other stall... In between heaves we told each other our names; i found out that it was my old best friend that moved away in the 8th grade
OMG A WOMANS PROSTETIC ARM JUST FELL OFF AT BAGGAGE CLAIM
I've only left my bed to pee and eat nutella out of the jar with my fingers
I was so drunk, I was kissing everyone. Their sexual preference was none of my concern.
I just pull a splinter from the head of my penis. It was a rough night.
Wheres my essay?
You mean the vodka drenched shreds of paper taped all over the walls of the hallway?
you seemed to enjoy falling down hill
wow, never heard the last few months of my life put so succint
I threw away my jacket instead of washing it, the jungle juice stained me more of shame than red food coloring... i have never been that white girl wasted before...
She got the hiccups while deep throating me. It was epic. Once in a lifetime experience.
No more. You can't have nice things, and vodka is a nice thing.
you said "how could you not want to hook up with me when I have these abs" and then proceeded to rip your shirt off in the middle of the bar. I'm pretty sure you were hammered.
JESUS
Idk dude I just feel kinda weird masturbating in my Obama Biden 2008 shirt...
you got into a really intense arguement about protecting bees. it was wierdly arousing.
i just has to use a gift card to Target that one of my students parents got me to buy Plan B bc my bank account is -$0.08 so my 2017 is starting exactly how i pictured.
So is he the one who got away?
They all got away. I’m a catch and release kind of girl.
Randomize
