It was kinda weird being the boss
Did you feel like Tony Danza?
Full bush! Can't stay! Need ride! Come on bro!
We had sex on the first date...do you think he thinks I'm a whore?
Yes and so do I
Maybe i shouldn't have told him the key to getting in my pants was double vodka sodas and Nelly's song "grillz."
The only coherent words in the 6 texts i recieved were don't, cute, fucking, beer, and lions
Just had a tranny complement my outfit. Looks like I'll have to change before we go out.
Im drinking ciroc out of an ice cream cone... my night is going fantastic
I wish I was in the big bed with a naked you post sex eating chicken nuggets
Well u missed Autumn's newly 21 yrs old sister flashing her tits and standing on the bar last night.
But see that's the thing. I know i'm better looking than you, I just want you to be continually in a state of shock and awe that you could ever get a girlfriend this hot. You know?
I just got nudes while talking in the third person. Not sure if I Should be proud or ashamed.
I wanna be like, dude, I peed your bed. Like you laid in my pee. And we're not dating. You can find another fuck buddy who I'm sure won't piss on you.
...is this motivational speaking, or sexting? It's getting hard to tell.
sorry didn’t mean to call you, i was just trying to put the t-rex emoji beside your name
My prof handed me back my essay on Lesbians in literature, gave me an A and then we had sex in her office. Told you she was gay.
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