Fuck Jersey, the house im in is so baller but this state just cannot win.
When i light up a cigarette people look at of like i'm going to pee on their children.
he accidentally used the toothbrush i use to induce my bulemia...i feel like this is something he shouldnt find out...
She really thought E.D. was a sexually position.
I just witnessed two drunk midgets fighting over a graham cracker. I can die happy now.
The really sad thing is that I actually practiced crawling in my room yesterday in preparation for today
Someday you'll be stoned enough to create a one-person step team and then you'll understand
You picked a jagger girl up claimed her then walked out the door with her that was the last we saw of you
Now you know my pain. Live with it. Own it. Recognize it. Cause its like shitting napalm.
After seeing all of the pics during the trial, all I could think was "her vagina doesn't look THAT dangerous"
Gonna play a drinking game called drink til I feel my emotions. The things I do so I can be a therapist
I have experienced an excessively hairy ballsack in my mouth...and it was horrifying. I keep feeling it in my mouth now. It's like hairy ball PTSD.
He's got a british accent, a tounge ring, and he's wearing an eye patch... Of corse I'm fucking him
There’s nothing that says motivation more than watching these little geniuses on Kids Baking Championship New Year’s Day. I’m ready to fuck shit up this year.
I really wanna treat my body good. Because i plan on doing drugs
Randomize
