Kareoke will never be a sober sport
It wasn't awkward until he started humming the Rocky theme song in the middle of fucking
I should be sponsored by Trojan
We got them high and they had an hour long debate on the best way to get cum out of eyes.
you better fuck at least one or both of them.
I like that most of our conversations somehow end in us having sex for the good of our country
He went down on me in his escalade and his dick is bigger than my forearm. I'm never going back to white guys.
she played "i just wanna get married" by jagged edge while we were having sex. why cant i avoid stage 5 clingers
Hardly remember what he looks like and the man has seen me passed out spread eagle. I begin this journey with such a disadvantage.
I'm drunk and you're awesome. let's stay this way forever.
he's paying for my abortion by participating in an alcohol study. dont try to tell me we wouldn't be classy parents
Finally washing the shoe scuff marks off my front windshield :( bye bye memories
I cannot lay down. I will throw up my life and your life and the class hamster I had in third grade.
Also I just had a pointless meeting and the only thing I accomplished were my kegals
I'm like the total package- I don't want a relationship and I have daddy issues. What more could he want?
Straight up just cock blocked my dad. Also this apple sauce is good.
Randomize
