Having your wife answer your cell was so lame. Maybe we can talk when you get your phone, your facebook account, and your balls back.
great time with ya sorry i wasn't one of the three guys you wanted to stay with
is it cool if i come over and use your computer?
what happened to yours?
i got a little to drunk last night and threw up on it...then i tried to wash it off under the sink.
I totally have a Rabbi on speed dial now. Keep it Kosher.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
No, I'm only going to drink half my paycheck. That's the responsible thing to do.
my Prof for my bio lab has his lab coat collar popped. it's 8 am and im too hungover for this guy
i took my sailor hat off and used it as a vom bucket
yeah people on the adjacent balcony, Im naked drinking outside in 0 degree weather at 1pm. got a problem?
Me too it's so nice. Debated studying out there but woulda been 90% babe-watching 5% flexing 3% studying and 2% talkin my boners down.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I tried to force my roommate into a sink last night. And I almost won.
Hey. My eyes swollen shut and I can't find my shoes. How was your night?
See, remember when you wanted to get an Ashley Madison account and I told you not to and you hated me? You. Are. Welcome.
Is it a problem if I'm trying to condition Goodbye Horses to trigger an erection?
dont ever go to laser tag drunk. you will be judged.
My dad told me that my grandparents are giving me $20,000 and my actual response was "do you know how many kittens I could buy with that?!?"
Randomize