i wonder how he feels talking to my mother about jesus with a condom on his dick
Disadvantage of being gay..... my gag reflexes makes trying to make myself throw up extremely difficult.
thought i was the most hungover person in class until i saw a kid puke into his bookbag...he wins
Lauren she was gnawing on a dresser. Gnawing. On. A. Dresser.
Idk if you remember me telling you about him, but I gave him a hj under the stars. Kind of added a little disney aspect to the whole experience.
Are we talking about who knows if I'll get naked pictures of you with a broadsword or who knows if I'll be surprised?
He was dressed as a cowboy and he was dancing with my ex roommate. So I took his gun and pistol whipped him with it..then somehow we still slept together..
apparently, dueling with garden tools in Home Depot is strictly frowned upon
Woke up at 10 with bourbon being shoved down my throat and him yelling, "shot train! Don't be a bitch"
Literally too hungover to pull out of the driveway. Tried 3 times and failed. I'm going back to bed.
It makes me feel all patriotic & free... And borderline diabetic.
All I remember is receiving a lap dance to slow motion.
The fact that I bookended my summer with pregnancy scares doesn't upset me. The fact that he's a trombone major does...
We were getting breakfast he shit himself in the middle of ihop. Mid bite he just yells out o fuck.
Grandma had me open the boxes that were delivered today. She got a sex swing, I've settled on "You go girl" as my official reaction.
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