You know you want to come over later
1:27a: Um no
1:45a: Maybe
2:05a: Probably
2:38a: I'm outside, let me in
I'm already going to be stripping so like pretty much you would just be watching me. Also we're watching twilight. again.
i told him i was gay. he said that gay guys are supposed to be pretty.
some girl in front of me in class just googled "hungover+throwing up blood"
don't tell me I don't love her. i once slept with my girlfriends therapist, just to find out if she was cheating on me.
hes trying to draw the periodic table on his chest with a sharpie. i'm not sure how thats going to help him on his chem final, but he keeps shouting "this is how the pros do it"
disregard all texts ive sent you minus taco motherfucking bell
Who the hell poured a whole pouch of Capri Sun down my throat last night?
I think ppl see us as an unstoppable drunken force
You know how hard it is to drive a dirtbike down a road with 2 plants of weed on your lap. Fucking hard
I AM SENDING THIS TEXT MESSAGE SO I DON'T LOOK AT HIM. THANK YOU FOR RECEIVING IT.
Drinking, I should not. Got here I don't know. Still drunk, I am. At courtneys.
I just spent an hour in the shower pretending I was a member of the b-52's. I can't go to work like this
My manager said you offered to make out with him to ensure I keep my job if I didn't show up to work today
what happened last night?!
you took a shot and then laid down on our kitchen table and passed out.. then when we tried to move you to the couch you screamed "no! i love tables"
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