The last thing I remeber was convincing you to hide in the fridge, and then taking everything out and you not fitting.
We still going to Happy Hour
Idk. I can't because it doesn't fit in my schedule of sleeping or throwing up
She may be a slut, but at least she's a dedicated slut. She's always super tan and has her shit shaved in really cool designs.
I just bought the ATT family protection plan so that I could block all of my old bar hookups from booty calling me...
I don't think everyone found it as funny as I did... Nothing says "Party's Over" like the sound of a pump action shotgun.
okcupid is pretty much insisting i hook up with this chick who looks like andy milonakis.
But he has cupcakes AND I'm guaranteed an orgasm. .. I feel like I shouldn't even have to actually make a decision here.
Being single/not living at home sucks. All I want is someone I can force to pick up my pizza for me so I don't have to talk to anyone.
I'm going to get high and eat ice cream until the pain goes away. You're welcome to join.
I feel like your personal Bdsm barbie...
I woke up in the basement of a pizza restaurant... I would say the tequila hit me pretty hard.
Dude so help me god I WILL weigh a penis one day
I think I've done enough damage with my vagina as of late, thank you
look, my penis is an amusement park, and it's closed for maintenance. why can't you just accept that?
My mom just asked if I wanted a mimosa when I got out of the bath.
I think everything's gonna be okay.
Randomize
