'hiiiigh' is saved in my t9 for a reason
My 10 year old brother handed me a pack of condoms and said "here, i don't wanna be an uncle yet."
is he apposed to sex in general? or just porch sex?
We broke into the space center. If i go to jail I wanted to tell you, you have a fantastic dick. Use it wisely.
She wanted me to watch her masterbate and after she thanked me for a wonderful evening and left. This state is weird.
After we drank 3, we built a raft out of the empties and installed the fourth submerged In the water to keep it cool. Keg boats are now a thing
151 hangover. Need apocalypse.
he fucked me with his goalie mask on. it was like sleeping with Darth Vader
YOU CHEATED ON ME WITH THE WOMAN THAT IS STAYING AT YOUR HOUSE. FORGIVE ME IF IM NOT THINKING YOUR A DEDICATED BOYFRIEND.
so...the lady doing my pedi totally noticed the human bite marks on my calf. Who says marriage ends your sex life? Love u!
I felt like a personal hot pocket and all I could taste was cigarettes.
Oh goddamn. That a super downer Tuesday reality right there. Just hit me with the cold, hard, nasty facts.
I just masturbated while watching Say Yes to the Dress
This is what my life has come to
Try to fuck my roomie AND steal my slippers: you are no longer my favorite cousin.
Any who, I expect to be showered with roses apon my arrival
How about beer and nachos?
A fine substitute!
Randomize
