There is a man on the balcony beside me who claims he is a triceratops. He roared and asked me for a cigarette, telling me he'd eat me if I refused. I love college.
You know its bad when you're praying for a hangover just so you aren't still drunk at work anymore.
so we had a 20 minute conversation and created the fb page WWND (what would Nana do?) last night after we took our Ambien...that is my definition of an overachiever
It's almost like sex with her has gotten boring... like it's still good, but the creativity is lacking... it's times like these that i wish she still wanted me to gag her
judging by the cake all over the hall, my neighbors had a pretty successful thursday too.
I guess wearing a straight up bikini to class is an early indication that Thirsty Thursday has started.
Dude sorry but it totally wasn't worth going back in there for yous shoes
We still going to Happy Hour
Idk. I can't because it doesn't fit in my schedule of sleeping or throwing up
why is my underwear the only thing i was wearing that smells like vodka?
I told him I had AIDS after he bit me. His dad cried. I think I just ruined the little guy's 3rd birthday, but he had in coming.
I cNt phones. tingles in my fingles. jingles
He was stoned laying on my bed singing I'm a little tea cup while I took a pregnancy test. Thank god it was negative.
Im pretty sure breakfast wine is a thing, and if it isn't, I just invented it
I am literally this close to screaming out my window if anyone nearby was down to fuck. I am too damn horny.
I really hope this is just a phase, because I am not capable of carrying both of our drunken whore asses through life. Too much dead weight....
Randomize
