Ehh boy. FML. she was unattractively large.
So she farted while we were having sex but I was afraid she would stop because she was emberessed so i just went ahead and took the blame and apologized
sometimes i really wish you were a nugget.
how am i supposed to spank it to a shakira video when she looks like she is doing the robot?
rubbing her clit was like playing thumb war
FYI I'm about to upload a vid of you to facebook of you screaming "SNACK ATTACK" and throwing cheetos at everyone playing pong...
At least my fat-chick-ratio has not been that bad this semester ...
P.S. The slutty NASCAR driver costume will be saved and used year round for role play.
Monday morning margarita madness at ny house. Yes before wheel of fortune. Yes day drinking.
She spilled creme de menthe on her crotch and I told her she looked like a menstruating Vulcan (costume idea!). Obviously, I went home alone.
it's the amount of time you spend on preventing me from puking that really cements this friendship
I'm like going proud parent over you doing drugs, this is so wrong.
he gave me a flinstones gummy vitamin and was like, "ya know.. because of ebola."
dude, she has my telletubby sweats and my good sweatshirt hostage, I can't risk their safety with a breakup
I wouldn't be able to live with myself if I blew a Trump supporter.
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