I typed "housewife" into monster.com's search engine....I got zero results...kinda bummed
You compared your dick to a twizzler. In no way, shape, or form is that a turn on.
Dude before you bang that chick preheat the oven to 425 I wanna make a pizza for afties
i will be blacked out in the shower. come get me. 20 mins.
She is banging on the liquor store door begging them to let her come in.
You disappeared for an hour and showed back up with handfuls of bratwursts and yelled at my girlfriend that if she didn't eat them, that the nazis win
I have cum and leaves all over me. Don't ask questions.
We just got in a fight with grandma b/c she tried to tell us you didn't go hard.
Naw but when she was in the bathroom I threw the condom out the window and I'm pretty sure it hit some girl
if you're the one who put those dollar bills in my bra last night, thank you because I just used that money to get myself a coffee
I'm potentially being cockblocked by Old Man Winter. What the fuck did I do to piss off an entire season?
She acted like falling "up" the stairs was a fucking physics phenomenon. I call that Tuesday nights.
One minute I'm going home the next I'm getting railed on the back 9.
thanks for not wanting to stay all night or talk or anything, nice to have a fuck buddy who really doesnt take the buddy part serious
I'm all about the fuck
He ate me out for my sailor moon manga and I gave him a blowjob for his Devilman manga. Pretty sweet deal imo
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