I am sitting on my kitchen floor drunk with a bottle of jose cuervo, tryin to make cinnamon rolls and write a paper. I love college
i called her out for picking her nose in public and he still wonders why i don't like her!
I just got while a charlie horse while orgasming...most confusing feeling ever...
We'll both be dead in approximately 72-96 hours, with you bringing your liver out of retirement again, Favre.
I just found a bottle of gin in my vegetable crisper. Party is back on.
What's the protocol when you drive the girl's head into the wall during sex and she starts to cry?
using the campers leftover pizza money at the bar. Definition of great counselors right here.
I did, I'm just saying. Once the drinking starts my nipples are no longer my control.
Fake an illness. Her and her friends are like the female version of guys who wear tapout shirts
I hat to flip my "days since last bad decision" chart back to zero. So...yeah. Sigh.
He looked at me and just said "moist". The entire party shut down from uncomfortableness. He is an anti-party wizard.
I woke up last night a kitchen floor with my shirt off and I love America written on my leg in eye liner
I just wanna suck his dick on my balcony ya know
I puked in the back of my mom's new car because I had too much to drink at Chilis. I think I just hit rock bottom.
Actually, my eyes didn't start bleeding until the next day. So it was a pretty awesome night overall.
Randomize
