I just jerked it to the same porn two nights in a row... and she says I have problems with commitment...
NEED BACKUP we are in the kitchen arguing about who would win in fight against lil Wayne and snoop dog
I might get fired at work today. I had to prioritize. It's not my fault Cockasaurus came over.
you guys are cousins why the FUCK are your pants off
Bad news is he broke up with me via text message
But the good news is I've returned as mayor of whoreville
so why are there three stressed gay men and a bowl of vomit in the smoke room?
im shotgunning beers in the kitchen. alone. the cat is judging me.
Locals got pissed I was talking to the barmaid. Tried to tell me that they keep all the good beer at "a Soho walkup" Google saved me
I was weirded out when the chunky goth girl and her boyfriend both started eyeing me and wanted to by me a drink.
My boyfriend told me that I said I wanted to "feast on her vagina"... Glad I don't remember.
don't worry, i'm not mad. i'm just angry. and furious. and about to set your ass on fire.
He's being awfully beer snobby for a guy who ordered salad
ITS THE CIIIIIIRCLE OF SLUUUUUUUTS
And then I was like pick your blow job song and he choose the sonic the hedgehog theme song. If he's not the one no one is.
He started out in my roommates bed and by the end of the night was in mine, not sure how that went down. But he left happy in the morning.
Randomize
