I'm at a party watching some dude try to eat a whole package of Oreos in 5 minutes.
i yelled at him for a little and we ended up fucking in a random tennis court.
he just used "boss" and "boner" in the same sentence. I cant respond.
thanks for the 52 voicemails of you and crystal reciting the pleg of allegance
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I slept with an Israeli and a Palestinian in the same day. It feels wrong.
I think I shall call his penis Gatsby. We talk about it all the time, but I never see it.
After i finished him. He goes "youre a champion"... Then whispers "forever"
You both sound like you need to get shit faced, fight it out, and have makeup sex.
The number of mornings I actually have to say out loud to myself "you must put pants on and go to work" to get motivated is...troubling.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
holy shit the woman im hooking up with is closer to my moms age than my own
it will be just like last year but no clogged toilets and more costumes.
Our prom king just sent me a dick pic. I know it's 10 years later but I feel like I've finally made it.
Im not sure if the cops that just came are strippers or actually cops
Every morning should start with 2 orgasms and a shoulder massage
dude the dog literally grabbed the condom out of the trash can and threw it in the air i'm screaming
Randomize