Texts From Last Night

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  (760): View more from California

  the real housewives reunion is on...i wanna see if danielle can look any more surprised than the facelift allows

  (1-760): View more from California

  i wanna see dina punch her face back to normal

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  (760): the real housewives reunion is on...i wanna see if danielle can look any more surprised than the facelift allows (1-760): i wanna see dina punch her face back to normal http://tfl.nu/0c7c
  Replies (18) Good night (2383) Bad night (614)
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  (972): View more from Texas

  **i WaNt TO sLaP mY niECe wHO ThINks iT iS cUte tO WriTE LiKE tHiS**

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  (972): **i WaNt TO sLaP mY niECe wHO ThINks iT iS cUte tO WriTE LiKE tHiS** http://tfl.nu/fjtm
  Replies (58) Good night (1748) Bad night (4230)
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  (214): View more from Texas

  Got bored today and made list of places in apt I want to have sex. One includes opening and coming out the window.

  (214): View more from Texas

  If I die, please delete the word file entitled "Rainy Day"

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  (214): Got bored today and made list of places in apt I want to have sex. One includes opening and coming out the window. (214): If I die, please delete the word file entitled "Rainy Day" http://tfl.nu/2bzp
  Replies (14) Good night (4071) Bad night (581)
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  (913): View more from Kansas

  He's a fan of Alicia Keys on Facebook. It doesn't NEED to say 'interested in men'.

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  (913): He's a fan of Alicia Keys on Facebook. It doesn't NEED to say 'interested in men'. http://tfl.nu/awoj
  Replies (33) Good night (898) Bad night (3248)
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  (908): View more from New Jersey

  Today was my first day of hebrew and I learned how to say give me sex... I think I can quit now

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  (908): Today was my first day of hebrew and I learned how to say give me sex... I think I can quit now http://tfl.nu/hukx
  Replies (10) Good night (5221) Bad night (1018)
• Favorite

  (678): View more from Georgia

  Went to my car this morning. Found a waffle from Waffle House in the front seat. No idea how it got there. So hung over I ate it.

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  (678): Went to my car this morning. Found a waffle from Waffle House in the front seat. No idea how it got there. So hung over I ate it. http://tfl.nu/0dlq
  Replies (27) Good night (4949) Bad night (1597)
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  (646): View more from New York

  All I'm saying is that whoever owned the wheelchair clearly didn't need it or they wouldn't have been able to leave it there

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  (646): All I'm saying is that whoever owned the wheelchair clearly didn't need it or they wouldn't have been able to leave it there http://tfl.nu/jsjn
  Replies (12) Good night (4216) Bad night (1430)
• Favorite

  (626): View more from California

  How many bratwuest were you able to fit in your mouth at one time? It's me, Hans.

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  (626): How many bratwuest were you able to fit in your mouth at one time? It's me, Hans. http://tfl.nu/e33l
  Replies (12) Good night (2627) Bad night (1085)
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  (609): View more from New Jersey

  Fairly certain I called dibs on your lesbian virginity last night

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  (609): Fairly certain I called dibs on your lesbian virginity last night http://tfl.nu/7184
  Replies (17) Good night (5146) Bad night (1179)
• Favorite

  (702): View more from Nevada

  whatever. i don't care. i just want to be drunk wrapped in an american flag.

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  (702): whatever. i don't care. i just want to be drunk wrapped in an american flag. http://tfl.nu/wos6
  Replies (4) Good night (2472) Bad night (860)
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  (530): View more from California

  Whatever dude, I don't feel bad about it. If my girlfriend finds out even SHE should give me a high five. That bitch was fine

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  (530): Whatever dude, I don't feel bad about it. If my girlfriend finds out even SHE should give me a high five. That bitch was fine http://tfl.nu/asqo
  Replies (37) Good night (2200) Bad night (4158)
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  (920): View more from Wisconsin

  Ok now a guy in a winnie the pooh costume is grinding on some chick to the song shots

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  (920): Ok now a guy in a winnie the pooh costume is grinding on some chick to the song shots http://tfl.nu/w4ec
  Replies (7) Good night (1262) Bad night (482)
• Favorite

  (954): View more from Florida

  I was talking about you wanting my dick, but that works too

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  (954): I was talking about you wanting my dick, but that works too http://tfl.nu/81kp
  Replies (0) Good night (1023) Bad night (457)
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  (303): View more from Colorado

  Sometimes I feel like I should become a beautician purely for my ability to shave pretty shapes into my pubic hair.

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  (303): Sometimes I feel like I should become a beautician purely for my ability to shave pretty shapes into my pubic hair. http://tfl.nu/ft15
  Replies (5) Good night (776) Bad night (343)
• Favorite

  (516): View more from New York

  Come through the front door when you get here.

  (1-516): View more from New York

  Right now I'm so wasted I can't determine whats a door and a window.

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  (516): Come through the front door when you get here. (1-516): Right now I'm so wasted I can't determine whats a door and a window. http://tfl.nu/uers
  Replies (4) Good night (819) Bad night (299)

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