quick i need to know how implid consent works for golf carts
too late i think im gettin a gcui
i wouldn't be half as slutty if there were better things to do.
I jsut got pulled over and passed the sobritaty test.
Good thing spelling doesn't count.
I just jerked it so loud the neighbor banged on their floor. maybe my wife got the point
she is using a fork to eat popcorn and refuses to drink gatorade out of anything but a margarita glass... did i mention the popcorn is on a plate?
I don't know if it's the amount i drank last night or the number of taylor swift statuses on facebook but i feel like puking everywhere
dude you cant keep breaking into my house just to raid my fridge.. especially at 3AM.
New low: just got woken up by my 9 year old cousin throwing an empty at me and telling me to get my life together.
I never thought I would have to get vodka suctioned out of my ear
He made me twerk for scrambled eggs... I regret nothing
Why wake up next to a guy when you can wake up next to a bag of chips and not have to worry about what kind of std you might've caught
Did I call him? He cried after taking my bra off. You tell me.
THAT'S NOT NICE
NEITHER WAS PROMISING NOT TO TAKE MY SISTER'S VIRGINITY, THEN PROMPTLY DOING SO
Live it up bro, they're always so surprised to find out you use magnums, being such a tiny man and all. It's a good thing.
Kay so its 9 am whose dumbass is gunna act sober to buy pizza rolls
Dude you promised
Randomize
