did you get engaged???
do u usually make out with people before telling them your name???
Ramen noodles and uncensored jerry springer episodes, what a nice life i have.
before tonight, i was terrified of what tequila would make me do. but all it did was make me hook up with a movie star. sooo basically tequila's my new fave
Would it be cruel if i sold xanax instead of adderall to freshman unfamiliar to the drug-taking profession?
There is something about weddings and lines being done off my ass
Woke up in a kilt. And it's not my kilt. Drinking was a success.
Why don't we skip the roadtrip entirely, save us the trip, and go straight to jail?
Woke up in my underwear and Christmas sweater. Only. Eggnog has won the battle but not the war.
I saw pigeons eating ur dried up puke today. Last night was fucking great
We all have to be good at something. Mine are writing, drinking, fucking and peer pressure.
I just got three pairs of underwear free and a bathing suit for $20 by modeling them and letting the salesman grope me a bit.
It's great being a young gay man in Chicago!
You don't get to call me bro after you've had your dick in me.
Also: that bruise on my leg where you left like 3 sets of teeth marks keeps getting run into the corners of desks and shit. And I can't even complain to anyone at work
She was riding a razor scooter down the street wearing nothing but a feather boa it was beautiful.
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