i've decided that sluttiness is like a disease, it can lay dormant in you for years and then one day you go to college and with all the booze and drugs and boys and time on your hands symptoms begin to show then one day BAM you're a huge slut. it's like how izzie had skin cancer and it grew into brain cancer.
how do you tell a roommate that having sex on your bottom bunk is not appropriate even if she has a top bunk that's hard to climb to?
The best thing he's ever done for me was comment on my profile picture saying "hello boner"
After having to meet his mom half naked, running into the tree in front of her didn't seem so bad.
Interesting preview of what next year will be like. Side note, missing a chunk of flesh from my middle finger.
Just had a stripper snatch my glasses off my face with her ass
She said she couldn't sleep with a guy who had blood stains on his ceiling. I tried to explain it wasn't my blood, but she still left :(
I'm petty sure you said "hold on let me make my nipples hard, they look better"
If I'm not drunk and wearing a penguin hat by the time we are done opening Christmas presents then coming home for Christmas was a complete failure
Listen I just pulled white girl hair out of my underwear. This has got to stop. I was wearing pants all night.
They live across the street from a school baseball field so they have porter potties across the street and let's just say that I'm grateful they exist
I broke her handcuffs. I feel like an animal.
well I didn't shave for the hot dilf I banged last week so I'm sure as hell not shaving for you. Sry
the guy next to you kind of looks like a penguin. i'm going to fuck him
Girls - I think I have a problem with stealing random shit when I'm drunk.
Randomize
