I'm drinking ghetto ass mojitos!
Wow. How can mojitos be ghetto?
Squirt + bacardi limon + limes = ghetto mojitos
You were in the corner dancing by yourself yelling "I look good", when really you looked ridiculous and drunk
the amount of blow i got, New years should last a week.
There are huge fuckin pieces of palm tree in the road. what a road hazard. as i sit here and text you as i swerve to miss them
My dick was out way too much saturday not to get laid
When I woke up I had three missed calls from the name 'dream krystals'.... If I remember correctly she was the lady at the drive thru at Krystals and her name was Dream.. She wanted to come to the strip club with us... Do you remember?
He licked the chalk off his shirt, then spat the Mountain Dew from his mouth onto the shirt and sucked on it. And thats him sober.
So if you ever need to know a guy who knows a guy who knows a guy that can put a 24oz beer can up his ass... Hit me up...
On that note if you see a hobo smiling with a pack of cigarettes and an AMP energy drink, that was my good deed for the day
I was looking at your puke while I was peeing in it the next morning and that ceasar salad did not treat you well
Jelly. This is your "are you still alive" text. Any response will do.
Hey I found a cat!
He sent me a slow motion video of him jerking off...it was so long (the video not his dick) even I felt awkward watching it alone
Like I respect him so much I would suck his dick
In a very non respectful way
It's shark week go big or go home
I get so sad when I watch him slowly destroy his life with whiskey and cocaine. Then he bites my neck and I just want to fuck him. I can't help it.
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