I gave him a blowie and after he said he wanted to send a giftbasket to the girl we met through.
a stripper queefed in my friends mouth last night and it reminded me of you. miss you
she just asked me to help her create a twitter page for edward cullen's hair.... seriously.
Jesus people on campus asked me what i do for joy. I said i love sinning especially pre-marital sex.
she likes to give head while listening to britney spears, getting blown by a girl with headphones on is a nice level of separation
Every time I type "should" my phone autocorrects to "shouldn't". even my phone knows my ideas are terrible.
Omg i either met the gayest dude ever or my next boyfriend
She had a little wicker basket of condoms by her bed. Disturbing yet convenient.
next time a party gets busted lets get a group photo first.
Even worse we were making a sex tape so our reaction to the condom breaking was recorded.
Already at the river; already getting fucked up. And yes that semicolon is legit because those are congruent statemests
Dude, all I know is that I came out of this thing wearing a snorkel mask and completely covered in glitter and soap.
I just want to have sex that doesn't end like a B-rated horror movie.
Speaking of, what are you doing next weekend? I'm going to a rope bondage seminar and may need a partner if my date bails.
Have I told you i love you?
there's no need we are two peas in a naughty pod of fuckery
Randomize
