Google if cops ever smoke weeds and then bust them. I need to know immidiately.
my sisters under your porch take her home
She told me she was a cowboys fan... I told her it was a waste of a perfect set of tits
i might even pee on it at walmart i am so nervous
I managed to convince my mom that my hickey was a birth mark I have always had. She cried for an hour about being a terrible mother for never noticing it.
the boy next to me on the plane handed me a shot glass, then a perkaset, and told me to have a good week off..hellllo spring break.
The cops just showed up and arrested her. It's our 2nd date. Do I have to hang out her with her 3 kids until she makes bail or can I leave?
Ok not good, my info has definitely been submitted to this sugar daddy website before.
At this point if I didn't go to work hungover I think the whole place would think something is wrong
You stared at the ground for like 20 minutes willing yourself to get sober
This is worse then when all the pharmacists sang me happy birthday while I was buying plan b
Everyone heard you scream that I was to be naked, in your bed in 5 minutes. We were one hell of a shitshow spectacle
Really uncomfortable with the level of eskimo brotherhood at this family reunion
I was sitting here smiling wondering why i'm so fucking happy at work. cookie has kicked in
I thought accidentally shaving off my fingertip while trying to shave my butthole was going to be the most unexpected part of my day, but no
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