That girl really should ne nicer to her vagina. It's not a playground.
Apparently hers is a theme park.
Update, blind date is cute and fun.
Scratch that, blind date just threw up.
This is how I know I have no life... Jon and Kate are my emotional roller coaster.
why did i wake up to an event notice that says "Shit Just Got Real"?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
it was like getting a handjob from mrs. butterworth
i just compared eating a chick out to "gargling a cheeto"
just took batteries out of my vibrator to play wii guitar hero. think i am gonna regret that move later tonight.
That reminds me...we need to get swords
Became best friends with the hotdog stand creeper outside the bar. Cried and told him my feet hurt too much to walk home then begged him to hire me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Trust me at the end of the night there will be queso smothered places you didn't think it could be smothered
Thank you for FINALLY joining the Slutasorus Rex club in this conversation.
My bathing suit kept falling whenever I went under a wave and this kid caught on and kept checking them out so I told him nothing comes free $5 a boob
I’m almost positive this girl is drinking a mojito in class right now, if so she’s my new hero
I just wiped my butthole and there was glitter down there.
The next morning I found her spread eagle asleep on the living room floor and he was asleep with his head in her crotch. I needed a ride and had to wake them up.