Where are you?
In a non slutty way
Ugh I just know that when I take off his pants his underwear will have Megan's Law written all over them.
Update: no underwear. Greeeeen light.
I drowning out her crying with songs from the Beatles it's good for us both. She relives her 30s and i dont have to hear her cry
I found the pot of gold last night, and it was full of bad decisions.
i have learned 4:30 is too early to start pregamming for the midnight harry potter
she made sit in a corner, drink nothing but water and told me she was worried about me because i picked up an irish guy at a taxi rank. says the girl who invented tequila night and fucked a guy in a park across the street from a sweet sixteenth.
He was drinking wine out of a pyrex measuring cup at two in the afternoon and told me my ass looked fantastic in my sweatpants. I love university
your bra might or might not be a decoration on me and my roomies xmas tree haha
I think the multiple Sunday morning sirens outside my window are a plot by the cops to get back at me for the shit we pulled last night. Or I should move to a better area.
Chick in class has 69 tattooed on the back of her neck. Target acquired.
I just try to date guys based on what I need like I am trying to find an electrician now
You gays are geniuses
So far I've taken two naps, went out and bought a pizza called the Hipster, and in 15 min I'm gonna make a snow angel. Conquering Snowlandia. How bout you?
Sometimes you just gotta get high and go to a planetarium. Why can't he understand that?
Excuse me I just made a hot pocket without burning down the house, I think i can do anything.
Point in my hangover when I'm honestly not sure if I'm about to puke, or shit my pants.
Randomize
