Just ran into that chick u called from my phone and left her a MSG bout how she has aids
Ahaha, good shit
My natural self cock block skills kicked in last night. I could've got on like 2 chicks but i ended up throwing up all over my van instead.
New Years Resolution for 2011 : QUALITY cock. Not quantity.
in my lab write-up should i mention that i watered my plant with tequila?
The fact that I pulled something plastic out of my mouth after taking that shot is starting to concern me.
I renamed his cat Jeff last night. Well I spray painted it on him.
I picked up the bartender so he could open the bar early and ended up with him giving me a ride home when he closed. I like snowdays and everything, but they get really expensive. Also, I think I threw up on his front door. Not checking.
Nothing with ever convince me that she wasnt purposely left behind by our mother to ruin my life and fuck our family
Isn't it my whole life blown into this perfect spoon shaped piece of melted and artificially colored sand?
Wow.
She shit all over my seat. She is not allowed in my car under any circumstances. Not even with drugs. You can't forgive a shit.
Gotta get dat. Gotta get dat. Gotta get dat dat dat dat dat ~uterus contraction~
No. Not going out tonight. No. It's Tuesday. Xanax and Full House Tuesday.
No matter how long you've been away, there's nothing quite like pooping at your parents' house
He pretended his dick was a samurai sword and that he was slaying me with it is it bad I still wanted him to fuck me
Somehow reaching for the flaming hot cheetos ended up in the best sex of my life
Randomize
