I can't belive they dont sell booze Sunday mornings. I mean some of us have to work
When I came home you were watching infomercials, eating croutons out of the box and salsa from a funnel. Well done.
my roommate left her license, credit card, and cellphone on her desk. I feel like this is a trap.
Remember when the only STD we had to worry about were hickies? Those were the days
It was great. Even bought me breakfast in the AM
From?
Well, he didn't exactly take me out, but left a $20 on the table...
A slipped finger up the butt isn't the end of the world
I think it was the chocolate body paint and awesome blowjob that finally made us official.
This guy just showed us his webbed feet to prove that his son was actually his son
Your ability to be a slut in your nightmare astounds me
You were screaming across the bar "BUYING US SHOTS ISN'T GOING TO MAKE US STRAIGHT, YA KNOW!!!!!!!!"
Still butthurt there's a framed picture of me passed out on the toilet in my grandparents' living room
I posted her number in the m4m casual encounters area of Craigslist.
I guess her always saying "gay men love me!" will finally get put to the test.
We could have a classy candlelight sonic dinner with fireball cocktails if you leave now. Twat tickler centerpieces.
Last night I made him sit on my bed and finish my burrito bowl as I chanted "brucey" over and over until he was done like they did in Matilda with the chocolate cake
No more pre-dentist shots, I just puked on my hygienist
Randomize
