Shes cool when Im fuckin smashed.....Sober.....She suuuuuuuuuuucks
I asked him if he wanted to go to my place, he said i could go but he was gonna stay
How wet are you?
Ever heard of a U-boat?
we need to stop having unprotected sex.
ya i know. we're like the secret life of the american whores.
All I heard was "You have collect call from Lafayette Parish Jail for Dude it was awesome! I'll tell you about it later!"
can you call in chlamydia to work? like if the antibiotics they gave you for it are giving you the shits...
You were almost as fucked up as I was the night I hooked up with a bob saget look alike...
I swear there's a gravitational pull from your vagina to large groups of men in uniform.
WHYAREWHITEGUYSSOBADINBED?! What the fuck went wrong, evolution?
I wanna get freshman fucked up and do shady things on the last Friday of my youth.
I want to lick his teeth again. Is that a creepy thing to say?
Yeah plus that night got so disgusting it's basically a repressed memory anyway
How did the surgery go?
My face feels like a marshmallow.
Thanks. I just smoked a bowl topless so I'm in heaven right now.
DID YOU OR DID YOU NOT, PEE IN MY FUCKING TRASHCAN?!
Randomize
