I was happy to be the center of attention..until i realized why everyone was staring
Deffinety need to stop having sex on the beach just took a dump and it was mostly sand
After watching Cinemax for a few months, real porn just grosses me out.
i just threw up a quarter into the urinal in the bathroom at the bar. everybody else stared then cheered. that drunk
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She woke up laying on my kitchen floor, ketchup bottle as her pillow, in front of my fridge.
Had a speaker in class today. She asked whats the first question when you see someone pregnant. I said whos the father? She was looking for "is it a boy or a girl?"
He's afraid of heights. How do I know, you ask? Blowjob on his roof.
I don't like getting sloppy drunk but I don't like getting just half drunk either, I'm way too responsible if my blood alcohol level is below 0.2
And now I have fucked a local celebrity so double free drinks at bars.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think I'm too tall to 69 successfully.
I think I might cry.
You gotta buy me dinner first. Or smoke me out. Both are equally chivalrous
just woke up on a lounge chair wearing a durag and holding burrito wrappers in my hands
I was like sure, i'll have a drink or two to end the night early. Next thing i know theres a ton of dudes in my house and like 3 gallons of wine. I cant do anything in moderation.
I was at his place until 2am. We just sat really close an stared at each other. I think you are right. Germans must not have feelings. Not even tingly ones in their pants.
They gave my sperm a pep talk after they found out we were trying.to have.a baby.
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