hahhahahha. mid doggie-style, i faked an asthma attack. the sex was that bad
Watching a deaf couple have an argument in the mall. Can't bring myself to look away.
This guy just showed us his webbed feet to prove that his son was actually his son
masturbating while the coffee brews is the new power nap
he came within less than a minute of me blowing him. this was our second night hanging out in a row. for an almost 30 year old italian man, he is NOT living up to his country's reputation
But he made me breakfast and understands the fuck sleep fuck sleep necessities
Hundreds of bug bites..Dad jokingly says "looks like you passed out naked in the woods somewhere"
We ate a mysterious delivered pizza which no one ordered and then the wii wouldn't work so 20 of us watched porn on two laptops. Drunk took the awkward away.
Well going home with a Ralph Lauren model helped me get over him real fuckin' quick. Would recommend it for all women going through breakups
I just learned how to imitate a trains smokestack. The downside is it makes you look like you ate cocaine. The upside is YOU LOOK LIKE A TRAIN
I'm like 89% sure I could get him to buy me a car in exchange for a half-assed handy.
Bro, she said she wanteo to fuck me with my white Nike cap on so I resemble a douchebag. I think my choice of women might be coming into question
So congratulations, your penis has now sent me to urgent care not once, but twice!
as a self proclaimed hoe im ok with a lotta things but that is not fucking one of them
3 weeks in a row I've pulled '69' at the deli counter...God is giving me shit for not getting laid in a year....
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