Ask me how many people I've slept with. Because its changed since I last saw you.
I saw you 20 MINUTES AGO. You need to stop this.
jess passed out on the pong table. it was depressing until we started singing shania twain an hour later and heard her muffled voice singing along.
We're the kind of people who ruin family vacations
That's what you get for fucking someone nicknamed "wiggle worm"
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We found them in a dumpster making out trying to get their privacy
Nothing like a $37 iTunes bill. Jesus Christ do you know how many $2 beer/shot specials that is??? The answer is 16. 16 beer/shot specials.
i mean, what better way to remind him of his failures in life than to fuck his roommate/fraternity brother?
This storm betta not fuck with taco tuesday
He made a playlist to use during sex...that ended with The Ultimate Warrior's entrance music.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm sorry I keep having sex wth your friends. I'm done, for real. Unless cole is interested. Other than that, I'm done.
You're not talking any sense into me. You're cheering me on to disaster.
... is that not half the reason I'm your best friend in the first place?
well it was great until i saw his anime body pillow
this periodpocalypse needs to be over. I need head
sometimes you just have to listen to beyonce and cry. that's how life works
The boob job was worth every penny just to see the expression of pure joy on his face the first time he saw them.
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