Let's get naked and see who's stronger.
im bored tell me something entertaining
You got period blood on my carpet. I lied to my mom and said it was jam.
under NO circumstances is it acceptable to fist pump to taylor swift
Eventually evolution will just give us a better liver anyway, so our great great grandkids should THANK us for our binge drinking.
I can hear my liver begging me not to go out tonight
Just woke up from a dream where you lived in a gingerbread house on a snowy cliff by the sea. The dolphins were swimming away from a giant dust storm. You REALLY ought to smoke this before bed tonight.
I poured everyones drinks into the ice bucket and then stuck my face in it. Apparently I'm a greedy drunk.
She was touching herself and looking a shoes online. My debt is bad enough without bringing that hot mess into my life.
HOLD ONTO YOUR PANTIES AND SAY GOODBYE TO THE REMAINDER OF YOUR INTEGRITY
You can't call dibs on the bed... every time you party you KO in the bathtub
the dude in the apartments across the street got a video of me railing blake on your front steps last night
shit like this is why i dont let you drink vodka anymore ..
I'm gonna guess ur still high cus last night at like 3am my pillows were morphing into cats and I kept trying to pet them
Wake up. Eat bread. Find your dignity. Don't be late for work again.
He was the perfect gentleman on our first date. Took me out for candlelit dinner at a fancy restaurant, held open the door, walked me home, and made me cum three times before he got his.
He's teaching me French for free and I'm giving him blowjobs. Win-win.
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