he just had his sister send me a message about how he's not a creeper
Was his mother too busy breastfeeding him to do it?
I have decided that a Nickelback cover band would be the pinnacle of loserdom.
I seriously need to stop naming my lingerie sets after the boys I wear them for. I seriously just asked mom if she put Brett in the dryer
can I come stay the night
yeah, but no sex tonight
I'll stay home
Who topped off the "random beer mix" beer bong with a pinch of pepper?? All you could taste was busch and pepper...
Got into the physics lab with my student id, hooked up over break when school was closed. I regret no payments for tuition.
I'll be there. With Doritos and whisky. Don't expect much more.
Apparently while trying to get up from vomiting in the toilet I grabbed the seat cover for leverage and smashed my own head between it and the bowl. I don't remember this.
Just warning you the last time I had captain Morgan I gave a blow job to a guy that looked like Jesus.
A good drinking club with a running problem, improves endurance in both I have observed this evening.
2 for 1 beer results in multiples of 2 so what should be a beer or two becomes 4 or 6. But running, alleviates the need for a DD.
But what I'm actually thinking about is how everyone except me had sex on my bed this weekend and now I'm just sleeping in it with a 7 foot tall blue panda
It's finals week and I'm halfway done with this bag of wine and don't plan on stopping. Say goodbye to my GPA
Plus my dignity needs a night alone with me.... Oh that's right. I lost it last night
There it is. Caramel-coated dick. Someone is getting a yeast infection later.
i found you laying on the floor staring at the ceiling and you kept muttering "why" in various inflections.
Randomize
