It's pouring out. I am cold, wet, and miserable.... Kind of reminds me of our sleepover last night.
I come up with the best drinking games while babysitting
Well then I realized I had a bigger problem when I woke up a long board.
And you kept repeating "I didn't know know that this was a no blow job zone."
In a car. Threw up in my mouth. Haven't said a word in 10 minutes.
I feel like I need to get a restraining order against him but I'd probably be the one to break it.
Yeah I'm at the doctors getting a shotand don't know how to tell them I'm still probably drunk from last night
I also made him write a nonfiction romance novel about what happened and to give it to me when the time was right
In last nights drunken stupor i apparently purchased a luxury travel package for two to Australia. So uh...get a passport and clear your schedule for next month
The bottle brush for the bong worked really well to clean the brownies out of the waffle maker.
When God made him he put all his talent in his dick. What he lacks in brain, he makes up for in loin.
He makes bad life choices and drives a wagon, how is that not my type?
im going to smoke a cigarette and reflect on my life choices
I had to ask her to let go of my cock this morning so I could go home. She just kept saying "no, please, no..."
Are these your boobs on my camera?
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