even through the webcam i could tell he was aiming for my face/hair
I was in the bathroom and heard my brother scream "YOU FAIL!!!", and I swear to GOD, I thought my penis was yelling at me.
So while she was giving me a lap dance I told her I quit med school. Just so she didn't feel like the only one who's made bad decisions in their life.
Awkward moment #23: reasuring mom that the bf and I aren't having sex as seamen is running down my leg...
It was a sobriety test blowjob. If he could get it up, he could get me home.
But you can still look for dick after you find Jesus.
I need to find out this kids work schedule. I need mustache rides on my lunchbreaks.
I'm going to take a nap so I don't feel like a stripper sneezed in my mouth tomorrow morning at work.
theres too many punctuation errors in that text to turn me on.
Whenever you're sad about your life, just remember that I'm on a first name basis with the late night taco bell drive-thru workers.
Kinda hard to look your partner in the face the day after a rousing game of How Many Ways Can I Capture Your Penis.
it was cool until he whispered 'sounds like you need a good dicking' with a completely serious face and i just lost it
Wait is this place where the strippers are missing teeth and I think one is missing a thumb? Though I don't know how she would maneuver on the pole without a thumb. Pls advise.
I don’t know whether to call out sick or call in drunk
after we fucked i left the room and when i came back he was patting his dick whispering "prouda you lil guy...prouda you"
Randomize
