no. you can't hotbox the world.
I know ur sleeping, sorry for waking you but i just saw a girl with mittens on using her nose to control her ipod touch
Just stole a pregnancy test from Wegmans because I didn't want to pay 13 dollars to find out my life is over.
That glade motion activator thing keeps going off every time we pass the bong. I don't know what I'm getting high off right now.
i have to go- we're throwing the dummy from the balcony again
Would you get mad if I held a "how many dick pics can you get in one night" competition with my friend?
Sober me admires drunk me's enthusiasm, but there is no way I'm going to make it out there today.
Lol drunk you is so full ideas and happy. Sober you is full of grumpy reality.
If you ever insult pizza rolls again, I will dragon kick you in the throat
We peed together in a dark alley while holding hands. That is a bond that can never be broken.
In that case, if you come anywhere near my house you can expect to be chased down various streets by a half naked me wielding a baseball bat. No, I am not giving you my address.
Why so serious bruh
She knew the head wasn't all that so she gave me her taco. I'm will in to give her a second chance.
He forehead kissed me AND THEN asked what I was thinking. I'm taking away his man card.
I know it's my dream I got hurt enough to leave work but not hurt enough to stop drinking
roommates are droppin acid, i really should stop them from staring directly at the light bulb, but their giggles are so enchanting.
What happened lastnight it looks like I had sex with edward scissor hands....my back is so messed up
my bad i broke a mirror over your back
Randomize
