i blew a .213 what kind of thug blows the compton area code exactly? this guy
Haha she couldn't find her dress in the morning. So she left it. How do the hell do I discreetly return that to her at work. More importantly, how did she discreetly do the walk of shame??
Just got caught pissing on a plant in her room while she was in the shower first word out of my mouth were my bad
I puked for half an hour, but I went and danced afterwards, and that made me feel better.
You are so irish.
Trying to figure out if I'm the second dude she hooked up with yesterday. I feel like a consolation prize
He just kept yelling "body massage machine go" at random intervals throughout the night
So how does it feel getting boo'd by the entire 5 guys restaurant
I wonder if they have a "21st birthday" section in the hospital..
I NEVER left your party last night of anyone asks.
Yeah, I didn't wake up handcuffed to my bed either.
This is like the best thing that's ever happened to us. We're getting paid to sit around get high and eat. There is a Jesus
Got a minor my first day of college from the bike police. I'm gonna like it here
I've woke up with the same hoodie on backwards, twice this week. I think that's a record
The problem I'm having with looking for jobs while drunk is reading is really hard
His face matches his life choices. Both are train wrecks.
Just let a guy I just met eat me out in a shed at a baby shower. May have sunk to a brand new low
Randomize
