Damn. That makes sense
I know im like the sherlok holmes of sexual problems
it really sends the message that i like to impregnate mortal women and have them birth fantastic half man-half god infants.
Do you think the party boat will still go out if there is a hurricane?
now that im off birth control, the world is a much scarier place
Dude, she got on top of me, grumbled in a low voice "I'm going to make you remember me", and then farted.
I feel like I'm laying on a pillow cloud. With little baby angel fingers between me and the cloud lifting me up. Singing hymns in my ear.
The waitress asked if you wanted white or brown, and you said "Isn't it all the same color when it's toasted?". She stared at you for about 20 seconds before she decided that you weren't fucking with her.
My roomate has me out looking for easter kegs hidden arround town
No I have an idea, I saw you running through the neighborhood at 3am while I searched for my flip flops in a ditch
I just want to have beer shits in my own bathroom. Is that too much to ask for?
The bartender has no bra and is giving out free shots. Call mom I'm getting married.
I just used a box o wine to refill a bottle o wine to more effectively drunk clean
IF THE SUNS NOT EVEN OUT THEN WHY IS HIS DICK OUT WTF
I was peer pressured into smoking weed by a bunch of LGBTQ teenagers
I just snorted sandwich everywhere.
I hope it smells nice :)
IT DOESN'T BECAUSE I HAVE MEAT COMING OUT OF MY NOSE, DAMNIT.
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