You tied the party balloons to your nipple ring so that everyone would know you partied.
know what turns me on? long, stringy hair on a pasty looking girl with an overstuffed backpack and kneepads over her jeans in case she falls off her scooter
your less of a man for seeing that
benefit of terrorism--they won't let you buy random one way plane tickets to random parts of the country for no reason nonmatter how high you are.
Her father's a cardiologist, her mom's a lawyer...she just went from a 5 to a 10 real quick.
I just realized i came back home with my lei that one night. How do i forget my bra but remember my lei?
Haha jealous. If I could remember my dreams I'm pretty sure they would constantly be about being drunk in foreign countries
Curled up in the fetal position, trying not to throw up or think about my future, and humming songs from musicals to myself. You?
I plan on showing these boobs to so many people that by the end of it ill just have a shirt of beads.
And the sky opened up and god said.... "WET T-SHIRT CONTEST!!!!"
We took your mom out drinking and we wound up winning 18 games of Flip Cup. You have amazing genetics.
he said "I would have fucked you in the chipotle bathroom" and I can't get over how awesome that would've been
I'll like his pictures on Instagram every once and a while so that when he sees my name he is reminded of the best blow job he's ever gotten.
I balled in the shower for 20 minutes, rolled up to the meeting late looking like a gremlin, and my one night stand was standing there in a suit
I complemented his smile, he sends me a dick pic. Seriously?
She told me the next morning I stared at her tits for like 15 minutes with binoculars from only a few seats away.
Randomize
