i just know my balls have never hurt this bad before
He asked if I was on the pill, apparently I just downed my glass of beer and winked at him...
Heads up. We filled your kiddie pool with kool-aid and vodka. Things are about to get Out. Of. Hand. Quickly.
The one from last night got me a whole floor of Eskimo Brothers. There was a celebration of high fiving as I left
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Who the hell poured a whole pouch of Capri Sun down my throat last night?
why is my new profile picture on Facebook one of me with a bunch of strangers on an elevator?
I'm glad I get the same reaction from you for cookies and for my naked body
It's okay. I've dumbed down my notes over the semester because I knew I wouldn't be up to understanding things come finals.
My class coordinator for bio told us that the only thing we should do the night before an exam is to get laid. And then party down after the exam. I like him.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
No dude, I'm not naming my kid after your beard
Honestly I was sitting in managerial accounting thinking "I really need to get my shit together and stop drinking so much wine." But when you asked I realized... it's wine. It's always a yes.
Rebecca hasn't has this number in 3 months. Please tell all her friends to stop calling at 3 am. We are not interested in buying or selling drugs nor do we want to hook up with anyone. You all need to go to rehab.
OH MY GOD REMEMBER ALL THAT I LOVE NEW YORK I DVRED BECAUSE I JUST DID
a reward? ill think of something
if its not drugs or food I swear to god ill throw a fit
Stacy was in the bathroom puking, so he peed out the window. We were eight stories up.
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