YEA!!! I'll throw you a non-baby shower.
Say my name once during sex just to fuck with her. Like when it gets rough.
I just watched a woman break three wood planks with her boobs. I don't know how I feel about that
Get everyone out of their dorms and watch 3 girls do the walk of shame from my room.
she has a picture of her daughter riding a giant rooster.. of course i want to make obscene cock jokes
throwing up in the shower isnt as glamorous as i expected
since when the fuck is that glamorous?
FOUR LOKO IS YES. SUNDAY MORNING DRUNK IS YES.
Single person behavior: I wanted a cookie but was too lazy to make or go buy any, so I let cookie dough ice cream melt and ate all the chunks. Pantsless.
He fell asleep and I'm awkwardly laying here because all I have to wear is my tutu. I'm pretty sure his roommate is going to be back soon so this should be fun. This is my life now. PS. the background of his phone is a picture of his hedgehog.
do you know how hard it is to walk a mile drunk on 151 it's hard yards are soft and every girl looks good
Although I am concerned about who made the decision to let you loose in a bridal show I am proud to see you in a sombero again.
I didn't even realize I grinded on a security guard last night. Shit. Did he at least like it?
I’m doing some soul searching to figure out how much of a slut I’m going to be the rest of the summer.
I fucked a 6 foot tall guy who has abs showing without even flexing... I am a wizard and I have magical powers.
I don't know, all I remember is waking up at 4 in the morning to him going down on me.
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