I love you and miss you, which in no way dimishes how much I hate the person you turned out to be, but I still love and miss you.
after last night, i judge her for not breaking up with me
He did not want a thank you for helping me move in bj. I don't know how to thank him now.
I have 20 seconds to get my life together and look presentable.
Honestly... isn't she a psych major? how does she go through life NOT realizing that everything she does is a cry for help?
I am trying to think of a way to tell him about thanksgiving and the following weekend in a way that makes me sound funny and exciting and not like an alcoholic
Like, what's the customary waiting period to hookup with your newly single ex that you never stopped hooking up with?
Topless dodge ball cldnt top that
I think you should just bang him and get it out of your system.
That's what you say about everyone.
I feel like parents watching our children. You want to step in and help them but you just have to let them make their mistakes
I distinctly remember telling him "I'll suck your dick while you eat pizza"
Great news. I WILL BE FUCKING IN A BOUNCY HOUSE TOMORROW.
The only people who really get me are strippers and mascots for sports teams.
My apartment looks like the apocalypse of sobriety.
UGH I HATE BEING THIS WAY IM GOING TO GO HUG THE CACTUS YOU GOT ME
Randomize
