He's the biggest piece of shit to ever exist. He's not even wearing shoes.
my mom hid the smirnoff from me. this is the most fucked up game of hide and seek EVER
It's gotten to the point where NOT peeing in the sink feels strange and uncomfortable.
if you were to get worldwide popularity from playing guitar with a plastic yellow bat while drunk on YouTube, would you hate me?
her name was charlotte except you kept calling her chatroulette and yelling at her to show you her boobs
VODKA 4LOKO BEER NOT IN THE CLEAR
My neighbor Chris is here. I am warning you, he is wearing a kilt I just saw his balls. Be incredibly careful that you don't see what I did.
I'm at a new rock bottom. Malibu on ice at work because it's the only thing they've got and no mixers.
Started my day with puking in a trash can.... Its gonna be a beautiful day
Only you would get a side of potential vagina with your sandwich
I have a black eye again and dont know why again
I was just thinking about if my bath water turned to jello and got a little freaked out
I'm like 89% sure I could get him to buy me a car in exchange for a half-assed handy.
bitch dont make me pour hotsauce in your vagina
Is there a way to use porn to inspire him to have dirty thoughts? Like the movie Inception except with more lube and orgams?
Randomize
