Cleveland boys shit in their own pumpkins in their own living room. Got pictures to prove it.
I was in holding with a guy that got a DUI on a hover round. He was so nice. We're hanging out tonight.
The boys in front of me put beer, red plastic cups, ping pong balls, lighterfluid, and twelve packs of pantyhose on the conveyor belt. Whatever drinking game they're playing, I want a part in.
why does my status of facebook already read REHAB 2011
He had a curved dick....must be a european thing
He said I showed up in just my underwear and a bunch of towels I stole from the party I was at.
Giiiirl. Just had a BM that almost killed me.
is it weird that our first time having sex was makeup sex?
Me too like the fact they didn't arrest me wants to send them an edible arrangement
Look, if this is a cop, just lemme know that Mike is ok. Fuckin all star game
I'm not drinking for the rest of the week. I need discipline, celery, dick, and a bible.
So many questions...the two most important are, where the fuck is my booze and how did you even get the couch through the door?
Hey
Gfdhklhgfxzyuikl$
GODDAMNIT WHY AM I MISSING THIS
I deleted your number after I found out you gave my brother head for drugs.
Gotta say, self-deprecating Lord of the Rings-themed sex jokes were not on my agenda for today.
Randomize
