When I'm drunk and can't pee, I sing my abc's in my head and try to pee before I get to pee. Last night I forgot to do it in my head
My family is watching Intervention and taking notes. I need to leave NOW!
All i remember was he was wearing billibong pants... well actually my mom found that out for me.
we've started having sober sex
you really do like him
He gave her the shocker .. I didn't know people really did that.
I don't think a check that has "thx for the drugs" on the note is really gonna fly.
If I had to give her an idea on what it means to be ur date I would compare it to being Ralph macchio's gf in the first karate kid... That's one of the coolest things I've ever said... I love drugs.
You know why nobody comes up with Sober October? Other than it's Oktoberfest? Because Sober October doesn't benefit anyone, just like your judgment isn't benefiting me. I'll talk to you in November. Unless you make up another alcoholless month.
You probably don't remember this but last night I bought you a lap dance from a stripper that had nipples that looked like runny eggs....you're welcome.
Disregard the shoes in the freezer.
Obviously he considers you not fucking him as fucking up. Thus making him fuck up. Based on this I believe he should be disqualified from the race to your vagina.
It's fine. I wouldn't trust either of them to be my workplace drug buddy.
I no longer need a flask. I need a canteen.
You coming to give me head and eat tacos?
I don't know if I'm having early flu symptoms, a miscarriage, or am badly hungover. Web md agrees.
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