Bitch is talking to much, howd u ever get her 2 shut up?
It's worth it.
How worth it?
Back door worth it
Do you have any idea why the dryer isn't working?
Because you touch yourself at night.
There are thorn wounds on my balls, don't ever question my dedication to party again
is there anything more depressing than unpacking condoms from your suitcase that you thought you were going to use on vacation?
dude,it's memorial day.not getting wasted=you're a terrorist
that would be two times in a week with two different guys.
they have the same name so it only counts as one guy right?
You know me. im down for anything that could harm my well being. lets dress like dolphins so everyone will see what dicks they are.
Why the hell did you invite him? He's gonna bring two more inches of dick and zero fun.
If I learned anything from that one time I saw the last 10 minutes of oprah when they talked about the secret, it is that you project what you receive back. I also have wine.
If I showed up at your door with pizza and a bottle of tequila wearing nothing but chaps and a fireman helmet, would you send me away?
All I've been thinking about for the past 12 hours is sex and SEAWORLD
Maybe singing about how you'd bang Morgan Freeman to the tune of Single Ladies while holding champagne and a box of Cheerios wasn't the best first impression on his parents
Theres a free llama on craigslist. Are you in or are you in?
no no no no you can't just say your dirtiest secret is "i sat on goldfish by accident once" and just leave i have QUESTIONS
AT LEAST TELL ME IF THE GOLDFISH WAS STILL IN A BOWL??????????????
OH DEAR GOD IT GOT IN MY MOUTH AGAIN HELP
Randomize
