Pregnant stripper...not hot.
making cat noises will not fix the situation.
I wake up every morning and wish that I didn't have to wear a bra
FACT: the parking lot attendant was yelling "NO SEX HERE! NO SEX" at yall.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Hey we need to step our game up. Dad has us beat; he stole a vending machine once.
But he found my shoe...that at least deserves a handjob.
I found a half-finished mass text from my California weekend that said "things I want to rape: you, things, stuff, and le"
I just realized, I'm going to be on my period for the end of the world. FUCK.
I got really upset at the McDonald's worker. They should serve nuggets 24/7. Apparently 5am is breakfast for some people.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Did we smoke in a portapotty last night? And if so, do you think the brown stuff covering my body is actually dirt?
I say "glasses of whiskey" like I didn't chug it out of the bottle
I just farted so loud someone came to check on me. Thought something fell in my office.
I have fence marks all over my body
10 shots in she's sitting on the floor using the open dishwasher door as a plate to eat her "life giving" pizza.
Some guy just walked past the bus stop in a lab coat and with a samurai sword and case...
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