How drunk are you??
I'm flawless.
If you were a Panda and I were a Koala and we had a baby, it'd be a falafel. Just think about that.
guess who just spent driver's ed figuring out how to draw a guy giving head
I just needed to know whether or not to wear panties to work tomorrow.
the 3rd commandment: and god said, if you buy a handle.. you must finish it.
you know it's bad when you need sunglasses to open the refrigerator
She may be a slut, but at least she's a dedicated slut. She's always super tan and has her shit shaved in really cool designs.
You challenged yourself to walk backwards all the way to the bar... And you did
That bar is one yeast infection away from total annihilation.
apparently I stole your wolf lighter. probably bc you made me howl while you puked over your deck railing.
I just faked an orgasm while masturbating. Idk what exactly my problem is but I have one
Yes, ur purse got stole with our condo keys in it but my slut ass saved us and we had a place to stay, AND I got to choke a motherfucker while riding him. Thats taking one for the team.
So, then you thought it was a good idea to dress up like the Hamburglar, buy a bag full of McDonalds hamburgers, go to Burger King and throw them at everyone while screaming "HAMBURGLAR!". At that point there was no stopping you.
on the bright side i found your panties and the lid to the nutella
sex on a bike is impossible
challenge accepted
Randomize
