Told my mom a bit ago she'd meet you tonight
Um...??
She's excited
Fuck their fairy tale bullshit. I shall ruin it. With a few thrusts of my cock.
but seriously ill do anyone in one of those hats with the earflaps.
I was wondering where I've seen this kid then I remembered I saw him doing lines of blow of his gf's leg while she was sleeping last week.
So then she just shoved applesauces in her pocket and started talking about she needed to find her friends.
you didn't get her number why?
I just found our entire wall-to-wall from September 2006 printed out and clipped... it's 49 pages. Blackout me is so considerate of bored-at-work me
He woke me up for a 10am bootycall. he was already drunk when he got here and when we were fucking, bagpipes started playing amazing grace outside of my window!! I love Boston on st. Patties day!!
The last thing I searched on my phone was "leave in conditioner on cats." This is where my life is.
Can we relax the "married man" rule just once?
Ok maybe now I get why I'm single I think I just broke a rib pooping
Your shirt... Was in my pants
Going overboard is basically 75% of my personality
I'm a gorgeous hot mess
My sex toys have been held in customs for almost a month now. They're British, what the hell?!?
I drank beer out of a Frisbee and it was all downhill from there...
I think I am just gonna marry that lesbian. She is more of a respectful gentleman than any of the guys I've slept with.
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