the young, male pastor of my church has a jesus fish tramp-stamp. I made him show me.
we just decided that lesbian tuesdays are a must, as of tomorrow.
if I'm ever single again, I swear to god I'm going to have 87 venerial diseases
I don't think there's a better bc pill reminder then when teen mom comes on
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the clerk said it was the first time she had ever seen someone walk in the next day to return the tux still wearing the tux
I drunk wandered into my parents bed and slept between them
I woke up five hours later with a mouthful of Jimmy John's while clinging to my sandwich.
My bed is full of blood and feathers
Dunno why I keep hitting snooze. It's never gonna give me the kind of sleep I need to be sober.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We're you guys there last night when everyone started chanting "Nacho Steph"? Someone picked me up, carried me to the nacho cheese and made me do a nacho cheese stand.
I hate waking up Sunday morning and thinks "how many friends did I lose last night".... Normally it's between 1-5.
He danced with some other girls and you started yelling "I can't believe I wasted half my Chili's gift card on you" at him
You just want me for my pizza coupons and my penis.
I thought you were dead but then you asked me if your tits looked good. They did.
I don't know why, but whenever I shave my balls I feel more aerodynamic.
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