ad ew i am wasted whats my problem
wouldn't it be funny if when girls shaved their vaginas, they gave them sideburns?
I cant believe that bitch gave me herpes. she said those bumps were just a part of the natural landscape
wait, did she really refer to her vagina as a landscape?
why are you more concerned about her word choice than the fact that I HAVE FUCKING HERPES
It's just like the Real World with babies
you assured me you'd make it home safe because your pizza rolls were waiting up for you.
No its cool I don't even have to do anything he is rapping to one of the strippers. He is punishing himself enough.
He completely dissapeared at the baseball game. We found him passed out at the hotel three hours later with souviner photos of himself at the top of the Sears Tower.
Hypothetical question: how bad would bacardi be as an IV drip?
death...100% death...what r u planning.
I performed "get broken glass out of my shoulder" surgery last night... Drunk, with a what-a-burger straw.
I wouldn't be too worried. He's been known to chase a chubby before.
THAT IS NOT HOW YOU TALK TO YOUR SISTER
words I never want to hear dad say again: "Trevor you sexy man you"
Oh man 11pm. That means it's time to take my shirt off an eat a brownie
We were fucking in the back of my truck and no joke a skunk came up and sprayed us. How am I supposed to explain this to my parents
My ex boyfriend literally just asked "who needs porn?". This is EXACTLY why I dumped his ass.
I was stuffing my face while buying a brownie and coffee and some kid I fucked came up behind me and said. Someone's hungry.
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