she made me put on a condom before giving me a handjob...this is why i hate freshmen
Uhg.. This isn't fair. I just want to have sex with you until i lose consciousness, wake up and start over... is that so much to ask?
we just finished a porn and sex toy shopping spree. this is the fun part of "being serious"
Dude they have your information. Come back. The sheriffs office is here, they are pissed..please come back otherwise jail is inevitable. Call me
Hung over does not do it justice. I am hung like a horse over. I am hungover and over and over. I am hung, drawn and quartered fucking over. They just told me I can't keep my sunglasses on in the office. Fuck drinking with you people.
its like what part of i just threw up mcdonalds breakfast means i want to make out with you?
No it was the best sex I've had in months. Nothing turns me on more than getting rid of a boyfriend.
It was like getting a handjob from a frost giant
From the same High Brittany who brought you such thoughts as, "Fuck, am I wearing shoes?" Comes High Brittany on a date! Stay tuned. This will be interesting.
No matter how drunk I am or how drunk I'll ever be I love you
At least I made out with him before he made out with that dog...
Sometimes I really think that if... When your stoned you have a catlike ability to just relax in any position
At least life still wants to fuck me.
Ugh. He got her for secret santa. Idk what to get. Idk what she's into.
... other people's boyfriends.
sending my old camp counselor nudes. childhood memory win or new low?
Randomize
