a guy tried paying for lapdances with cds, who uses those anymore?
it's been a while because I don't count the hooker
haha the sad thing is i can't decide whats worse. the fact that you're drunk judging a science fair or the fact that i'm really proud of you for it.
Its not that I'm getting free haircuts... Its just that she is paying for sex with haircuts...
Woke up with a full plate of KFC next to my face. I didn't really question it.
I feel miserable and there's nutella all over my phone
Europe's "the final countdown" was playing. It was pretty much amnesty for anything that might happen the rest of the night. It's a rule.
We got security called on us. Apparently the wedding down the street didn't appreciate the trespassing or our loud as fuck rendition of We Are Young.
I went commando last night, then accidentally flashed a police van...They acknowledged it.
Also when i was high i would close my eyes and see a puppy on a grill having pancake batter poured on it.... And for whatever reason it was fucking hilarious.
Dammit labor day drinking cancelled due to 3 inch long table saw cut to palm
Being drunk with magicians is fucking mind blowing. This Asian guy just made a platypus appear and disappear. This is not a drill.
I know where his drugs are but not my pants
I'll start cleaning the house tonight darlin. So you don't have to fuck your two boytoys in the driveway the next two days.
Go ahead without me. This chick is buying me drinks and just found out her husband is cheating on her. I think I just found the next level of revenge fucking: Scorned Trophy Wife Sex
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