At some point last night I thought pissing in a bottle was an awesome idea when I woke up a little piss was actually in the bottle a lot was on my TV remote
god, you should never be in the FBI. you'd give away america's secrets to any boy who asked.
She just said she finds Tyler Perry funny... this is not going to work.
Isn't the perk of being in a relationship not having to put in effort for sex?
It was the third Sunday in a row that I woke up in his bathtub. So no our sex life isn't that great anymore.
I was the last girl at the bar last night. It was like a battle royale between 10 guys.
drunk enough to drink jager bombs out of a bowl on the kitchen floor.
The waitress just told me I'm asking alot. So far I've asked for a soul, an angel and carbombs
Fuck I keep finding new battle scars from our fight. Justin told me I stabbed you with a broom handle.. Do you remember ripping my pants off?
When / where did the additional couches appear?
Additional?
James brought one with him when he showed up. Theres still 2 outside and according to facebook, at least one more burned up.
I wish period tracker had a "on this day" also so i can see who i was with this day last year.
Puked in the trash can. Took a bite of someone's breadstick and kept dancing and drinking
I can't dude. Last time I was there, I blew the bartender in the bathroom at last call.
If I ever say "I'm never drinking again" just hand me a bottle of jack. I'll snap out of it.
I either have food poisoning or I'm pregnant. Either way, I NEED JESUS!
Randomize