she's leaving w me bro, I've been buying her mad shots. She's seen my apt. So locked down.
I got oddly confused when she started talking in third person in bed.
It just hit me that I woke up to you in a bear suit. Explain.
And it was confirmed to me that I did in fact cut my girlfriend out of her dress with my sword.
It's not my fault. Someone keeps buying me tequila shots. Idk who. But every time I look down there's another. I think there's a conspiracy.
did i walk over a car last night?
We told you to go get more fire wood and you came running back with a log that was on fire, not drunk at all.
Every girl my sister has brought home from college I've had sex with, check and mate motherfucker
No just a slight sexual miscommunication which led to a little (lot) vomiting by one party and a bruised sternum on the other party involved.
I can't even make a guess how that goes.
Maybe she'll change her mind but the "go fuck yourself" doesn't seem promising
11:30 you texted me saying he was on his way. 11:37 you said, "Oh my God that was terrible."
Partying with my eighth grade history teacher I know you're jealous
just saw two eagle scouts making out in chic-fil-a
Just told my mom life fisted my asshole. She looked at me with complete understanding. I'm scared...
Change the sheets & put your dick in the dishwasher. I'll see you in an hour.
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