I had a dream once that juice was flowing out of my kitchen faucet
im glad we only fight about serious things like the hills and disney scene it
alright got my week's quota of sex in, ready for modern warfare 2
Do you ever go through someone elses pictures and just appreciate the fact that youre not really friends with them?
just found a piece of pizza in my dresser.....i remember you saying you were going to save one for later so i'm assuming this is your doing
that wasn't rum that I poured down your throat while you were sleeping
If i theoretically had to put an iv back in what do I need to do?
i can feel the knowledge leaking out of my brain
replace it with alcohol - nature abhors a vacuum
My main goal for tomorrow night is to make it back into my own bed
If it makes you feel any better about life I'm wearing yoga pants with granny panties and toms with socks cause fuck my life
I'm still laying in bed cuz I don't feel like adulting yet
Is a swingers hotel appropriate for an anniversary?
I've covered myself in body paint in the likeness of R2D2 and I still didn't get laid. Please explain.
I walked over and you were apologizing to him because you're lady gaga and he's not. The best part was that he forgave you.
i doubt you are even in possession of a crowbar.
I suggest you not find out the hard way
Randomize
