so... another position just opened up(704) Oh really?(704) Is it John's?(704) Or did you find a new way to take a penis?
I am going to fall madly in love with a ginger, marry the ginger and have lil ginger children running all around town. Oy
You shut your mouth
my neighbors are having lesbo sex right now.
I'm on my way.
Just bought a german beer stein with tuition cash. no regrets
Tell him next time im gonna be "disgrace to the family" drunk
my knee is completely bruised from kneesliding into the bowling ball. bowling for creativity points was a win
Yes I hit her with my car. Yes I gave her a ride home. And yes she gave me her number. What's the problem?
Dramatic love triangle! I guess mystery Asian and I will just have to fight it out for your love.
Dude imagine how many pictures of dicks Obama gets. That can't be unusual. Almost every kids in the US has written the president a letter.
I made out with drunk Joe Dirt and then put his mullet wig on for him. True Halloween romance.
My boss followed me on Twitter. Excuse me while I delete 90% of my tweets
Packing for college has become a game of where did I hide my sex toys.
I'm not finished with being a sloppy white girl alcoholic. I didn't postpone having a husband and kids for sober weekends.
And as the acid sets in, he looks back at the shallow form he used to call his and whispers "3 pee pees strong"
Then, even the devil himself would be scared of us. And we'd be bestfriends with Jesus. He would love us.
Randomize
